Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Do we ever leave this behind??

Thank you all for your supportive comments, I do feel much better now and I know that this is just part of dealing with IF.

It’s is funny how we feel like everything is worse for us, like Reproductive jeans said…it’s just because it’s our bodies. We have the scans, the pills, the injections…some strange guy staring at our woo woo’s – it just feels more difficult for us because we are the ones actually doing most of the treatment BUT our men are great most of the time aren’t they? You just need to read Bumbles last post to understand that we couldn’t do this without them, they survive the moodiness and bitchiness without making a big scene and sometimes, just sometimes everything gets a bit too much and they have their say, even if it comes out the wrong way.

My Darling Frank: I know that you will cringe when reading my previous post, but I want us to remember how hard this was and everything we went through to get here, it’s been a very long road, a road we never thought we’d have to travel and in truth – a road that maybe to start with we weren’t ready for. I want to say Thank you, Thank you Darling for always, always understanding. For being there at every appointment (I’ve never had to face a dr or “Mr wand” alone), for keeping me going and always trying to see the bright side – that light at the end of the tunnel and for being my rock, the one who wipes my tears and tells me that I can do this. This has changed our marriage and our relationship, it’s changed us and I know that in some ways we’ll never be able to go back, but it has also made us see just how much we can take and how strong we have become. This will be more than worth it in the end, and there will be an end…soon my love, soon we will have the baby that we both long for, part of us - that will bring you so much love and joy, love that you could never imagine. I Love you more than words can say….and I am glad that you are traveling this long road with me!!

On another note…

I’ve been wondering if we ever get over this – being infertile that is….Sara – from Somewhat lower (hope an inspiration post) describes it perfectly. How do we go from infertile to being pregnant and how does this change things? I don’t think that we ever forget this journey, but I do also think that time heals, we will always remember how hard and long this road was but it will be worth it, we will want to forget and just get on with things and be happy – afterall this is what we wanted, but part of us will always be there…how do we ever leave this behind? Do any of you ever wonder?

I did a very stupid thing yesterday, went back to the board to see what was happening with some ladies on the 20-something board only to discover two of them have gotten their BFP's recently (I haven't been back there in months) - this only leaves me now that is still trying - out of like 6 or 7 girls, that made me a little sad but oh well, I still have to believe that in time....I too will be there.....sigh....

While you at it…go over and say hi to Sticky Bun....who has just had another IUI and give her some support…It’s always nice to have some of the good guys on our side!!


Anns said...

Hi - just stumbled accross your blog and thought I'd reach out to wish you the best of luck. I know what you mean about the boards.. I can't go back to the TTC after M/C ones anymore.. they're too depressing! The ladies here in the blogsphere offer better advise and we get to share each other's journeys in a much more intimate way.

Wishing you the best..

Sticky Bun said...

Thanks for the shout-out! I definitely appreciate the support--particularly this cycle. :-)

And, I feel for you. It's so hard when you're the last one who is still waiting for the elusive BFP. I know it'll all make us stronger, bla, bla, bla...but let's face it, we'd all take a little less strength and a little more luck in the baby-making dept.

All the best!

Baby Blues said...

Tam, the post for Frank brought tears to me eyes! (I get like this when AF is around.) I love it! Something I would write to Mr. Kite. He's the most understanding and supportive person I know. I never saw Dr. N alone. Mr. Kite was always there to hold my hand for every single wanding session.

Sarah said...

it's hard when you feel like the only one still not pregnant, but you know you're in great company here in blogland! of course i wish you didn't have to be, but i'm thankful for every fantastic and supportive gal sharing this journey.