Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Updates...and Rocking girl bloggers!!

No, I haven’t fallen off the edge of blogland, I’ve been quite busy lately so I haven’t had much time to blog. I have however been trying to keep up with your blogs…there is just so much happening out there at the moment, so many of you ladies are now pregnant and are living from day to day, from scans to scans….some of you are waiting for beta’s – I wish you all the best of luck!!

There is really not much happening on my side, I am sure that I am more than half way through my 2ww by now, this cycle was so confusing, my 4 day long EWCM never corresponded with my temp rise so now I wait for AF to come so that I can really pin-point when I O’d. Weird stuff I tell you, it’s funny how much the IVF drugs have messed up my cycles, I think that this cycle will be about 33 days which is better than a 39 day cycle but still quite a bit longer than the 26 day cycles I am used to.

As a result of my cycle being so screwed up, the DIY thing never worked that well…so I think we missed O by quite a few days so there really is the slightest chance that it may have worked but I’m not getting my hopes up, in fact…for the first time in a long time, I wont be devastated when AF shows, I will however be very surprised if she doesn’t…It feels good to not worry about it, to not analyse every twitch and every symptom and to just be.

Frank and I have been having some really good times with friends and you know that I would be lying if I said that being childless didn’t still bother me, I do still think about it, in fact as time passes, I am starting to think about it even more. I have not told Frank, I’m letting him enjoy the break but I am starting to think about our FET, I think that I’ll be ready for it quite soon, when I say quite soon I am hoping for October/November so that is still a little while away. We are planning to go away in the first week or so of November and ideally I would like to have had my transfer already so that we can really take it easy but with my cycles being so screwy, it’s not easy to work out if the would even be an option. All I know is that I don’t want to cycle anywhere close to Christmas and New year, last year we were in our first IUI 2ww over Christmas and I found out on New years day that it hadn’t worked, not the way I want to start a new year this time round!! So I suppose we’ll see how it goes…but I do think of my little embies often and wonder if just maybe they are going to make me a mommy soon!

In other news, Mands and I met for brunch on this past Saturday, it was wonderful seeing her again, it’s so nice to have personal contact with someone that really gets me, it’s different talking to a fellow IF than talking to other friends that just.don’t.get.it, the ones who stare blankly at you and ask the same question 10 thousand times – geez, not usre where that came from - as I was saying, Mands is real special, such a sweet, down to earth soul and I can really sense the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I am wishing you all the best with your up-coming IVF sweetie, maybe we’ll be cyclesista’s!! Let’s hope we can bring our little ones up together!!

So now, down to the rocking girl bloggers!!

1. Janine from Me the bumblebee – Janine is such a special soul, when I think of Janine I think of her as being my twin soul, we have that connection. She has also been there during the hard times and I know that I can always count on her no matter how she is feeling at the time. I wish that we were closer but even tho we are far apart I know that we have a friendship that will last a lifetime! Her blog has touched so many of us through the way that she is so open and honest, a very special soul indeed! I am so happy for her aswell, she has been on this IF rollercoaster way too long!

2. Anna from Anna's parapraxis - I only started reading Anna's blog at the beginning of her IVF which wasn't that long ago...I really connected with Anna and it's really weird but I feel so close to her. I can totally relate to the way Anna's says things and am also hoping for the best now that she is pregnant!

3. Mands from The secret Garden - I have said quite a bit about Mands above but also want to add that she is such a positive person and I love that about her, hoping that your journey ends soon my friend.

4. Sticky bun - I have been reading sticky's blog since the very beginning of my blog, this is one blogger that I can totally relate too, she also says it how it is and isn't afraid to let the raw feelings of IF come pouring out, she has a wonderful balance between strength and sensitivity. Here's to the two little stickies you have growing inside you sweetie!!

5. JJ from Reproductive Jeans - I think that JJ has to have been chosen more than once, I see JJ as the centre of our blogesphere, JJ pulls us all together. She has some wonderful idea's and just brings us all together. JJ also has the most wonderful way of putting thing, her writing is beautiful and I think that we all love JJ! I hope your journey ends soon JJ!

I wish that I knew all of you in person, you are all very special ladies!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Can you tell I'm bored?

Your Birthdate: August 4

You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.
Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.
Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.
You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.

Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics

Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness

Your power color: Navy blue

Your power symbol: Shield

Your power month: April

Thursday, August 16, 2007

More pics...

Kel, Emm & Me...
Kelly & I (very drunk at this stage)...
Frank & I... My Darling & my sister... My cousin & I...
That's all for now folks...don't want to bore you!!

Birthday pics and DIY news...

Well well well, now I know that my birthday was like 2 weeks ago now but we decided to go out with some friends on friday night since the weekend of my birthday didn't work because everyone was a bit flat. The same can't be said for Friday night...we got home at 6am in a very very very drunken state, we had so much fun and I really needed it...

I have told you many times how IF has changed my life and I have recently decided to get my life and my husband back, I stopped doing everything that made me who I am, hell I even stopped drinking coffee and while this probably all helps for IF, it was really doing me no good, so I am going to live my life now and try not put IF first. Of-course this may take a bit of getting used to but we are going to try, we are not going to be stoopid about this and live our lives in a drunken stooper etc but instead of saying "but what if" all the time we are just going to try and live like we did before IF came along...oh, the days of innocence.

As for my DIY cycle, it's been harder than I thought and now remember what it was like trying on our own without Dr's to tell is what to do and when to do it. The whole IVF seems to have messed things us quite a bit, I was hoping to have a normal cycle this month seeing as tho last month was so strange and altho it is looking better, things are still strange.
I am on CD17 today and have had some cramping in my ovary area since day 7, I was worried that I may have a cyst but didn't feel like getting proded and pocked so I left it, I'm happy to say that I have had tons of EWCM for 4 days now and it is finally starting to dry up so hopefully that egg is going to pop sometime soon. Waiting for a temp rise (yes, I caved...don't know how to do this without help anymore). I have decided not to do the prog.esterone thing this month and just see what happens...
And now for some pics from Friday night...

Okay, so blogger is buggering me around and I need to go out quick....more pics to follow...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Personality test...

Now, this is quite accurate...really sounds like me...see, I told you I was a control freak!!

Click to view my Personality Profile page

ESTJs are responsible, logical, norm-following hard workers. Their efforts are carried out in a practical, structured manner. ESTJs trust facts and experiences more than theories. They are decisive, loyal, tradition observing individuals. They enjoy being the person in charge and often make good supervisors.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

To all the special women I know...

Tomorrow is women's day here in S.A - so I wanted to share a few words that were sent to me by a friend...I am proud to be a women and proud to be connected by the world wide web with all you wonderful women!! Here's to all of you...

You can feel her INNOCENCE in form of a daughter
You can feel her CARE in form of a sister
You can feel her WARMTH in form of a friend
You can feel her PASSION in form of a beloved
You can feel her DEDICATION in form of a wife
You can feel her DIVINITY in form of a mother
You can feel her BLESSING in form of a grandmother
Yet she is so TOUGH too…
But her heart is so TENDER
She is a WOMAN
And she is life!!!

To all the wonderful woman that I know, I hope you have a fantastic woman’s day and hope you won’t forget how special you are!!!
Tons of love xxx

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

New beginnings!!

I’m back!! Sorry I have been MIA for a while, things have been quite hectic!! I wasn’t on at all this weekend (it was my 29th birthday!!) and missed the good news of Anna’s BFP!! Great news Anna, you know i’m still praying for ya!! Go and show her some love ladies!! Also, I was so pleased to hear that Sticky bun has two, yes two little stickies in there, woo hoo chicken, praying for you too!!

On a sad note, Carrie is really needing your love right now, please go give her some, also JJ, we are all worried about you sweetie and please know that you are in our prayers always.

My little friend Bumble has also hit the 15 week mark and I must say that I am so thrilled that things are going well, I think of you all the time my friend and wish that we were closer…

In other news, I am happy to announce that all it took for our not so loved auntie to make her appearance, was a call to Vita*lab…she came running like so mad women!! So, I am on CD 8 of our DIY cycle today, let the games begin!! I normally ovulate around CD12 (presuming this cycle will be normal) so I am waiting for EWCM to make a show and then I’ll start with the bicarb…lovely, lovely stuff I tell ya!! I am not temping or POAS or on any OPK’s so I’m winging it which will be a new one for me….wish me luck!!

I am still in two minds as to what to do with the progesterone so I need to actually phone a nurse at Vita*lab and ask for some advice, you see I don’t want to not take it because I’m worried that I *might* fall pregnant and lose it because I’m not on progesterone but also don’t really want to be on progesterone because it delays AF and I’d have to test every month and ya’ll know I just love POAS!!! We’ll see I suppose…

I am also happy to report that I am feeling much much much better lately, I think that waiting for AF played a big part in the way I was feeling, I feel like I can finally breathe again, it’s almost like I can finally close that chapter, the failed IVF chapter that felt like it was never going to end. I’m starting over now, with renewed hope and strength. I have decided that this next year of my life is going to be the one, I will be pregnant before I am 30!!!

Thank you all for all your kind words during my difficult weeks and I love you all for being so special, I honestly don’t know what I would have done without the great support for all you guys. Hugs for all of you.

I have been a bit slack with comments and blog reading lately but I am trying desperately to catch up, but please know that I am thinking of you all as you travel the road to your different destinations!! Here’s to new beginnings!!