Friday, March 16, 2007

Awww, you guys...

I just want to thank all my little bloggie friends here in blogland, you are all so very sweet and special and I feel blessed to have you all. This IF is friggin hard and that's just putting it midly, people just don't understand and the funny thing is that they don't understand because they are just scared of understanding, they just don't want to know so they treat you wierdly when they find out that you are...wait for it...Oh No, here's that word again....infertile. But you guys, you know my pain, we all have the same pain (just in varying degrees of-course) and that's why it so nice to have you all....so in this round-a-bout way....Thank you!

I was reading one of Tertia's posts today and it's so funny, I think that us IF's all the same brain and the same way of thinking...Frank and I have often discussed this in length, over and over again (as us IF's do)....the power of prayer. Now don't get me wrong...I, like Tertia believe that there is a god and understand the meaning of prayer etc but I do also know that not all prayers are answered...if they were, well, none of us would be here pouring our hearts out about something we just can't come to terms with, something all of us (even when we all have our babies - and trust me this will happen - because....I feel it in my waters!!) will never ever understand having to go through. If it was up to prayer, well then we have many many people praying for all of us, we will all be pregnant soon...because surely some prayers are answered?

This bring me to another subject I just can't understand (oh my goodness, this is getting deep, it was supposed to be just a simple Thank you post) - if our little souls are out there just waiting for the right time or just another way to make it to us...then we are meant to have them....right....well then - why do we need to take the long road, if we are meant to be mother's to these little souls then why put us through this??? I am sure that all of you have asked this same question, if the outcome is pre-determined well then why do we have to wait for the right time and why is "the right time" not now? Who decides when the right time is, why do we have this longing if it's not the right time and for my finale....if we are to carry our children then why make it so hard and give us faulty bodies?

This is getting too much, i'm confusing myself here, I think the final question is why? And that my friends will never be answered.

So, on an end note (now that I have confused you all) - Thank you again, sweeties...



6 comments:

Sarah said...

you're right, there's so much we just can't ever know, no matter how hard we try to understand it all.

you're welcome!

Bumble said...

Why why why? I wonder that myself often too. I guess like some people are faced with other difficulties along their life paths, we got given this one. For example, a guy my hubby works with just had a little daughter last December 2005. In her short life, she's already been through 6 months of Chemo because she was diagnosed with Leukamia at the age of 6 months. To them, they also ask Why. Shes out the other side now and seems to be doing well thank goodness. I guess we all have our crosses to bear and some people get it easy and some people don't. It will define us and mould us in ways that we never would have changed so maybe its all for a reason. I don't know. As for the right time, I will never understand that. How is it the right time for a 14 year old homeless kid to fall pregnant? Or meth addict? But not right for us? Sigh... I just don't know Tambo! xxx

Baby Blues said...

You're very much welcome, Tam.
It's my pleasure to keep you company.

Sarah said...

hey i just wanted to say thanks for your comment on my blog. i'm having such a hard time believing it (and risking getting my hopes up). the congratulatory comments have really helped me try to get in the moment and enjoy it. and i know all too well how hearing about someone else's positive can be a double-edged sword, which makes me appreciate the comment all the more. thank you.

Baby Blues said...

If you're not busy, email me at babybluebabbles@yahoo.com. This way I could rant and vent without having to post it on my blog for people to see. :-) Likewise.

Mands said...

No, thank YOU Tam. You have been amazingly supportive.
I have asked the same questions so many times over, with no real answer, no rhyme or reason. I have to believe that when we finally have children, we will be struck with such a profound sense of gratitude that we will not take them for granted, as many people often do. It's hard to always see the good in a situation, but if we look hard enough, there usually is one. We have formed such close friendships, and although I am not happy to be in this situation, had I not been, we might never have met.