Lost.....

Can’t believe it’s over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were cryin'

Summer turned to winter
And the snow, it turned to rain
Then the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognize the girl you are today
And God I hope it's not too late
It's not too late

Cuz you are not alone
I’m always there with you
And we’ll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
When you feel like you’re done
And the darkness has won
Babe you’re not lost

When your world’s crashing down
And you can’t bear the thought
I said babe you’re not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you’ve gone crazy
But you’re not
Though things have seemed to change
There’s one thing that’s still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly, fly, fly away

Cuz you are not alone
I am there with you
And we’ll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
When you feel like you’re done
And the darkness has won
Babe you’re not lost

When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said baby you’re not lost

Mmmm yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
I said baby you’re not lost.
I said baby you’re not lost.
Oh yeah, yeah
I said baby you’re not lost.

With just days left to go on BCP, everything feels almost surreal. I have booked Frank’s SA for Friday so they should get back to us on Friday afternoon as to whether we carry on with this cycle or not.

I’m still feeling positive, I’m ready for this now and I pray daily that Frank’s SA comes back fine. While I'm so looking forward to this IVF, my life is in shambles, I feel so lost….everytime I hear this song, I cry…I am so thankful for my husband who is the only one that keeps me sane when I feel like my world is falling apart.

It’s the same old story, my folks have split up after 35 years of marriage and try as I might, I am always stuck in the middle. I haven’t even told them that I’m doing IVF right now, I can’t cope with them or their pity. It’s really hard, I’ve never had the best relationship with them anyway because somehow, they always manage to turn my world upside down instead of making things better.

Frank thinks that I need time and that we should put our IVF off as he’s worried about how I’m going to cope with the stress, I don’t want to. The only thing that will stop me is if Frank’s SA results come back dodgy (which they wont).

As things stand, life goes on and I keep popping BCP and looking forward, knowing that I am not lost.