Sunday, July 1, 2007

Taking our time and feeling better!!

I have to say that I am feeling much better today, it’s funny that having some sort of clarity on this whole thing helps. I feel like I can start letting go now and start moving forward again. I am not kidding myself by thinking it will just go away, I know that there will still be hard days but for now I feel okay.

We saw the Dr. on Friday and as I expected, they cannot tell you why it never worked, of-course they can’t, this is not an exact science after all. I am happy with the information that they did give us although it is not conclusive until we do another fresh IVF.

Basically he thinks that there might be an egg quality problem, first of all because none of the ISCI eggs survived which is strange and secondly out of the 10 eggs that they left to fertalise normally only 4 made it to transfer which only gives us a 40% fertalisation rate and for someone my age the fert rate should be between 70-80%. Of-course this is skewed a bit by the fact that we did ICSI, some of those eggs might have been okay and therefore our rate would have gone up. Eggs also vary from cycle to cycle so we would have to do another fresh IVF to conclude that there is a egg quality problem which hopefully we wont get to.

I can also stop worrying about running out of time as he says that I have up to 18 months before I need the endo removed again which gives us more time. The pain I was having on the weekend with AF is completely normal as he says that thicker your lining the more pain you will have, so I am not to worry about that.

My hormones are perfect and I responded very well to all the drugs during IVF, so if we were to do another fresh cycle then they would keep me on the same protocol. The only thing they would different is obviously not do ICSI and they would do a 5 day transfer instead of a 3 day transfer to make sure that the embryo’s they put back would be strong enough to take.

I have also been told that I need to wait 60 days or two cycles before doing the FET, this is to give your body a break as he says that your first cycle after IVF may not be normal, not sure why they make you wait another month after that but anyway. It’ll prolly do Frank and I the world of good and give us time to get back to basics. So the plan is to do the FET in September, we have 2 embies left as one never carried on dividing (it compacted) and the two 4 cell embies are now a 7 and 8 cell embryo which is good. They will do a natural cycle which means I wont be on any hormones to help my lining which shouldn’t be a problem anyway as my lining has always gotten thicker than 7mm. Should my lining not be thick enough then the cycle will be cancelled and we’ll do a medicated FET the next month. Obviously the cycle will also be cancelled should the embryo’s not survive the thaw…they will grow them for 2 days after the thaw so basically it will be like a 5 day transfer anyway, they will also do assisted hatching which is standard procedure here with FET.

So basically loads of info to take in. I have decided not to worry about the “questionable egg quality” thing as it’s still early in the game. Here’s two my two frozen little embies making it to babies and to having a two month break. I am stopping all reflexology and tabs for now and just living a little, doing stuff that’s good for the soul!!


ultimatejourney said...

I love the new look of your blog! And all the better that it's indicative of a whole new outlook! I'm so happy to hear that you have a plan. Enjoy your time off between cycles.

Amy said...

Having a plan always helps. I'm glad you feel more settled on things, and they had some options to give you. Enjoy your summer!

Baby Blues said...

Take it one day at a time Tam. I'm glad you're feeling better. Take your time and enjoy your break.

Carrie said...

Your Blog looks very stylish. I love it.

I'm glad to hear you are a little better. It can't be easy to accept when everything looked so good.

I think your next steps are great. Feeding the soul is often overlooked in all of this.

Look after yourself x

Kate said...

I really like the new blog look! I'll be thinking about you as your journey continues...

anna said...

I applaud your fresh, new outlook as well as the beautiful new blog look! One day at a time, and with a plan ahead, I hope you may rest well and enjoy some time to recenter yourself and to reconnect with Frank!

Reproductive Jeans said...

Love the new blog look.
Im sorry that he couldnt give you a definite answer, but it sounds like you left with a clear head and renewed hope....
Enjoy the break=)

Sticky Bun said...

I love the new blog look! It feels very calming, which is I hope how you're feeling.

I'm glad you've got a plan. I can imagine how infuriating it must be to not have many clearer answers, but I'm glad that the Dr. has a good plan in place for the next few months.

Be sure to take some extra time to take care of you and Frank these next few months--and enjoy your break!

Mands said...

What a beautiful new blog! It becomes you.
It is so frustrating not having any real answers, but the doc seems to be on the right track.
Enjoy the break, allow yourself time to become strong again.
Maybe take that little holiday anyway?

Becks said...

Love the new look.....I want one!!! How did you do it?

Glad you have a plan and a way forward. Enjoy getting 'Tam' back, I've enjoyed being myself in the last few weeks.

Leah said...

I love the new blog layout, and the different wedding picture. Beautiful!!

I'm glad that you are feeling a little better with the whole situation. For me, there are good days and bad days. It still just doesn't make sense.

If you've had a chance to read my most recent post, you'll see that our follow up with the RE went much like yours while discussing the downfall of last cycle. Don't know, must be egg quality. Gee, thanks. As if I didn't feel crappy enough. But I knew that's what he was going to say, and it's most likely true.

It's great news that you've got another year and a half before you need to worry about the endo again. I'll be thinking about you every step of the way from now until your FET in September!

Bean said...

Good for you -- re: doing stuff that's good for the soul. Waiting can be so hard, but sometimes a break is helpful. Sounds like you got alot of answers from your doc, which is always nice. Good luck and enjoy your break.

Also, thanks for the nice post over at my place. I really appreciate it.

Foreverhopeful said...

I love the new look of your blog as well.. :) :) I don't like the standard ones we have to use with blogger.

Glad to hear you are feeling better and you are getting some answers from your Dr. and have a plan of action. Enjoy your break and the summer.. :)

anna said...

Thank you so much for all your kind words on my blog. Even from so far away and despite everything you yourself are going through, you have such a beautiful way of comforting others. Even my friend, Kate, was touched by your words!
Thanks for reaching out to means the world!