Monday, May 7, 2007

My prayers tonight...

I am VERY happy to say that I am feeling much much better all of a sudden, nothing like a weekend of relaxing to sort me out. I am not nearly as teary and full of shit as I was last week and glad to say that the hormones feel like they are settling too! I’ve still been thinking about IVF a lot and have come to the conclusion that I am making way too big a deal about all of this and that I should choose to feel better about it and move on now, and so…that is what I aim to do. IVF….so what, I’m really just another statistic in this game we call infertility….I CAN DO THIS….it may still be scary and I may still have my off days but I will be fine and we gonna make loads of excellent quality embies and they gonna grow nice and strong and become our future babies – now take that!!

One more sleep to go until our IVF appointment, I really can’t wait, I like to know all the “in’s and out’s” uhem – so to speak – of what’s happening and when. I think (hope) that I’ll feel even better and a bit more in control…hehehe….yeah yeah, you don’t have to say it. I also realized this morning that I am half way into my BCP, only half a pack to go now, my goodness me…where is the time going?

On another, more stranger note….I have a little story to tell you all, it goes something like this:

Today I was sitting at my desk and in walked on of my colleagues, a lovely lady with whom I really don’t have many dealings but we chat (about the weather and arb things – nothing really personal going there) and I have never mentioned IF to her before, I have mentioned that I would like children one day but that’s about it….okay, mind wandering here….anyway, she came into my office and said that she thought about me while she was in church on the weekend…mmm, okay lady…you have my interest.

They were sitting in church and their pastor was telling them a story about a man that lived in a one horse town, a town that didn’t know about God, and somehow, one day he was told about God, so now that he had learnt about God and all that he could do, he wanted to tell everyone about our wonderful god, so every night he would pray to God and ask him for a bicycle, it was a simple request and every night he carried on praying for a bicycle and couldn’t understand why God did not answer his prayers. After all, the only reason he wanted a bicycle was so that he could ride and tell people about God. After months of praying he ran into a man, and the man said that God had sent him to speak to him about his bicycle, the man told him that God wanted to send him a bicycle but that there were so many bicycles to choose from and that God did not know which on he wanted, he said that he needed to be specific. And so he told God, he told him what colour he wanted and what make it should be and lo and behold he got his bicycle, he went on to tell the world about God and lived his dream. And so, you might be wondering (as I was) how this message made her think about me…well, she told me that she knows (through that lovely grapevine I mentioned in a previous post) that we are battling to have a baby and she wants to tell me that I mustn’t just ask God for a baby, I need to tell him that I want a baby before a certain date and that it must be twins/ a boy or a girl etc, I need to stop beating around the bush and be specific about what I want…nice thought and so I’m going to give it a try….tonight, I am going to ask God for a baby, just one baby (if he wants to give me two at once then great), I am going to ask him to make this IVF work and that I want all my embies to survive so that I have a second chance one day. I’m going to tell him that I don’t want to spend another Christmas wondering when my baby/ies will come, I want to be pregnant this Christmas. We’ll see how this works, I’m ready to try anything and the thought is sweet….whad’ya think gals?

Also, can somebody explain this eating pineapple thing to me, I’ve heard of it but haven’t quite got the jist of it?? Anyone?


ultimatejourney said...

Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong too. What the heck, I'll try anything. Here come the specific baby requests.

I'm very glad you're feeling better. You can definitely do this. I'll do what I can to help you get through it.

Baby Blues said...

It helps to specifically picture it in your mind. Sending you prayers Tam. May God grant you the deepest desires of your heart.

Adrienne said...

What a sweet person to think of you and your situation and give you that support. Absolutely tell G*d exactly what you want. G*d expects us to know what we want and ask for it, don't you think? ;-)

Bumble said...

Well I'm gonna do it then too. As I said before, God is very used to me asking Him for babies by now, so maybe I just need to be more specific... The pineapple is meant to aid implantation but I don't know where the theory came from, or how true it is... I ate a tin of pineapple after my transfer and we all know how that turned out. Maybe its gotta be fresh? Anyway, I do have some pineapple juice in the fridge at the moment which I'll be drinking from Thursday onwards... Tsk tsk, what a sucker I am. x

Mands said...

I was so sad to hear how unhappy you have been, this post is somewhat of a relief!
I love the idea, and I think I will do the same. My sister did that, and her little girl is going on 5 years. I have been neglecting God a little, hence my attempt at going to church (didn't go).
Let us know how the appoinrment goes okay?? :)

Carrie said...

I'm pleased to read that your making peace with your decision. It's not easy, is it?

As for the Church story, wow! I think I'll now be VERY specific. I'm not sure that's what's going wrong but I'll try anything at this point.

I've heard the pineapple thing too. I eat a few fresh pineapples in the two week wait and have done for a year and a half! OK, it's not actually worked but it's quite a pleasant ritual. I don't mind including it!

Sarah said...

the pineapple theory revolves around the premise that bromelain, which is found in the pineapple core, aids in implantation. i don't know how important bromelain really is or if it's even proven to be effective. but you'll sometimes hear that you need to actually eat some of the core to get the benefit.

i am ashamed to admit i did give in and eat pineaple, including some core, but i am highly suspicious that it had anything at all to do with my success.

Sticky Bun said...

Glad you're feeling better! And, I had never heard anything about the pineapple thing before...guess I'll have to not tempt fate this cycle and get some fresh cut pineapple. :-)