Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Cycle update

I finished my BCP on Sunday so am waiting for AF as we speak….I am also on day 6 of my Lu.crin injections already, time seems to be flying now. Frank has been such a sweetie and so good with the injections, they really do make us proud. I am such a woes when it comes to these things but Frank is so calm and steady, I couldn’t believe it when they made him do the very first injection, she just showed him how to put the mixture in the syringe and instructed him how to do it and he did it with no problem at all. What a sweetie!!

The shots are really not bad at all, they not the nicest thing around but I could really think of worse aswell. They don’t leave any marks or bruises at all which is nice I suppose, they really just go right under the skin and not straight in like I imagined….I was sitting at my desk this morning thinking about how normal I am feeling, I know many people have said that Lu.crin turned them into a big puddle of tears and so I was sitting thinking about how nice it is not have many side effects, I have the od twinge in my abdomen now and again and my boobs are still killing me but that’s about it, oh and I have a tad more CM than I normally have but other than that I have escaped quite well….so far….so I thought….

Now, like I said in my I am post…I am strong and have a mind of my own but when it comes to work and certain things in life, I just plod along and do what others want of me just to keep the peace or be nice….I have been working in this position for about 3 years now and get along with everyone very very well, I do as much as I can and more just to make others lives pleasant and less care free, I am a very fast learner and therefore have learnt all the systems and parts of others jobs…to my own detrement, I say this because I am constantly being asked to help with something or fill in for someone etc. This has been fine and has sometimes gotten to me but generally I am happy go lucky….but I have finally had enough and like I was saying to a friend of mine, I am not sure if it’s that or if it’s the hormones, anyway….I put them in their place today and said that from now on I have my own work to do and will not be “helping them out” anymore and that it that. So needless to say, I am not in their good books anymore and quite frankly my dears, I don’t give a damn. Take that you lazy mofo’s!!!

I was reading Adrienne’s post yesterday and just want to say that I am so sad, sad and angry for all of us having to travel this road, it’s shit. Adrienne is battling with the IVF decision after another failed cycle, go over and give her a virtual hug. I can’t say how much I wish that we were all somewhere else in life and that this was not our cross to bear, I so wish that we didn’t have these decisions to make about whether or not to do IVF and wondering whether we are making the right decisions and whether the odds that they give us are enough. It made me think that even tho we made the decision to do IVF really quickly – it may have seemed like an easy choice for us – but I am still really sad that we’ve had to go this route and scared, scared of all the possibilities and all the things that can wrong, I am also scared of the failure that might come at the end but I have to keep reminding myself that this was one choice that was easier to make than to stop. It was either IVF or stopping, I couldn’t handle doing more IUI’s – I had no faith in them anymore anyway…this is a shit choice to make but for most of us there is no other choice and we just need to hope and pray that for once we will be in the positive part of those odds.

I have also been tagged to post 8 random things about me…I will get to that…promise!


Sarah said...

i'm sorry you've had to make this choice too, but now that you're here i'm glad it's flying by and the injections are no big deal. i hope you never have to worry about facing that fear of failure.

Adrienne said...

Good for you sticking up for yourself, Tam! And thanks for your kind thoughts and solidarity. We're all in this awful mess together.

Anonymous said...

Hoping that you continue to be symptom-free on the lucrin. Yeah, i am one of those emotional, hot-flashy people on it.

As for your work. Good on ya! Glad to hear you put your foot down.. hopefully they have learned you can't be taken advatage of.

Good luck!