Monday, October 15, 2007

I am grateful...

First off - let me give you the FET cycle update....CD11 today, third visit with my least favourite friend reveals a 16+ follie and a lovely triple stripe 9+ lining!!!! One more scan to go and then probably trigger tomorrow night and embie transfer on Sunday....wooooo hooooo!!!

I must be honest and say that as I was lying there today asking Dr G if growing them for two more days makes them 5 day embryo's and listening to his response I started getting a bit scared, you see they'll take them out of the freezer on friday, and according to him they should carry on growing and the reason they give them two days is to make sure that they are "viable" - oh shit, now that scares me. In one way, I don't want to be stupid and take for granted that we'll be doing a FET on Sunday but in another way, I want to be blissfully naive...

So I have chosen to be hopeful (because let's face it, we're way past the naive stage), I have chosen to believe that we WILL be doing our FET on Sunday, welcome in hope, please make yourself comfy for a very long stay!! You see, up until that word "viable" today, I have been so excited, so hopeful, feeling soooo much better than I have in a very very long time.

My MIL bought me this book, it's called "The secret" and basically it is about asking, believing and receiving our belief's, i'll do a post about it another time because I do believe that we can all benefit from thinking this way, but the one thing that struck a cord with me was "Ask for something once, believe that it will be given to you and then act as if you have recieved it, you cannot ask/recieve something if you don't believe that asking for it means that you will get it" Another thing is to think happy thoughts, be in that "good" place and banish all bad thoughts, bad thoughts become your reality and be thankful for what you do have, saying thank you and being thankful changes the way we feel about things.

Since I have been reading this book, I've been trying to live by these rules....and so far so good, and so I want to list the things I am grateful for:

I am grateful.....
....for my loving, faithful and understanding husband
....for my family, both new and old
....for my beautiful home
....for my health
....for my friends, real life ones and the ones I've made in blogland
....that we have technology to help us have children
....that we can afford fertility treatments as many can't
....that I have frozen embies to transfer
....that I still have time

There is so much more that I can add to this list but I might never stop, so those are the important ones, in today's world all we do is complain, we never have any good to say and from now on I'm going to try and stay positive and look at the good things in life instead of focusing on the bad.

Here is my tarot card that was on today...and also my inspiration for today's post:

The Nine of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in remarkable gratitude. I am not a victim. There are no lost causes. "I've been there, done that, and know suffering -- but it's all good." I'm still standing. "Can't touch this." Self-pity is an excuse to do nothing. To appeal to sympathy for pity's sake is to seek affirmation of the choice to do nothing. I am empowered by the spirit and support of meaningful experience and I transform with silent resilience.

While you are out and about, please send some love to Mands who has just had her ET and also to Chanti who is suffering a loss.....we are all here for you girls and praying everyday.


Leah said...

I'm so excited and hopeful for this FET. I am praying with all of my might that this is The One!

Chanti said...

Hi Tam,
I saw you and hubby leave Vitalab on Saturday morning. We were still waiting to get our result. Would have greeted otherwise.
I bought the book you are talking about and have yet to read it, will be my new priority.
I am praying that this FET will be the one for you guys. Good luck.
Will be thinking of you.

ultimatejourney said...

I've got my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly between now and Sunday. Hugs.

Bumble said...

I'll also hold hope for you and your little embies. I pray with all my might they are viable and make it to transfer. And yes, lets already believe they will. Please keep me updated Tam. Lots of love... xxx