I think it's time we (Me, Frank and our little blasts) move, blogger has been a wonderful home to us, it has been a place where I've shared my deepest secrets with all of you, all my hopes and my dreams....
But it's time, time for change.....
Please join us at our new site where we are hopeful that our hopes and drams will become a reality and that I as type this, our lives are changing for the best....
http://peanuttam.wordpress.com/
See you all there!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
A new chapter...
I'm 30 today....
Today marks the start of a new chapter in my life, I'm hoping that my little embies are implanting nicely in my waiting womb and that in 9 days time we get a positive Beta.
I'm feeling so much better than I was on Friday, in fact I felt better on Saturday already, I think that Friday was just too much and I had to get my head around it all before I felt better. I have to think that if they thought we could have a triplett pregnancy then something must be good, let's hope that Dr V is right about those little blasts, please God - let this be it!
I'm still feeling a bit detached for this whole process, I'm hopeful of-course but it all feels very strange. Abi is also keeping me busy so I suppose I don't really have the time to sit and obsess like I used to so it's so far so good.
The OHSS seems to be easing up a lot, i'm still a bit bloated but hardly have any pain anymore. Dr V still wants me to drink 4ltr of water a day for the next few weeks tho...which is a challenge but it's worth not having the pain.
I'm having a quiet day at home with little Abs, Frank had to work but we're going out for dinner tonight, I'm not having a a big 30th bash, i'm not in the mood so we just doing a quiet dinner on Friday night with some close friends.
Thank you all again for your kind words, you are all a great comfort to me and I love you all!
Today marks the start of a new chapter in my life, I'm hoping that my little embies are implanting nicely in my waiting womb and that in 9 days time we get a positive Beta.
I'm feeling so much better than I was on Friday, in fact I felt better on Saturday already, I think that Friday was just too much and I had to get my head around it all before I felt better. I have to think that if they thought we could have a triplett pregnancy then something must be good, let's hope that Dr V is right about those little blasts, please God - let this be it!
I'm still feeling a bit detached for this whole process, I'm hopeful of-course but it all feels very strange. Abi is also keeping me busy so I suppose I don't really have the time to sit and obsess like I used to so it's so far so good.
The OHSS seems to be easing up a lot, i'm still a bit bloated but hardly have any pain anymore. Dr V still wants me to drink 4ltr of water a day for the next few weeks tho...which is a challenge but it's worth not having the pain.
I'm having a quiet day at home with little Abs, Frank had to work but we're going out for dinner tonight, I'm not having a a big 30th bash, i'm not in the mood so we just doing a quiet dinner on Friday night with some close friends.
Thank you all again for your kind words, you are all a great comfort to me and I love you all!
Friday, August 1, 2008
The other shoe...
Ever heard the expression "waiting for the other shoe to drop"?
That's what life has felt like for Frank and I over the past few weeks, things have gone so well and this may sound really "half-glass empty" but we've kinda been waiting for the other shoe to drop, well this morning, it came hurtling down!
Now please, please, please don't get me wrong. I am gratefull that we've made it this far, I know that many of you don't ever get this far let alone with your own eggs but bear with me here, some of what I am feeling is hormone related....
Yesterday's fert report said 13 embies, 7 looking good...today, however was a different story. Dr V started off saying that he had a conversation at a conference once, it was about perfect day 3 embryo's being transferred but no pregnancy being achieved - the outcome was - grow the same embryo's to day 5 and see what happens. Now we know why no pregnancy was achieved with any of my other transfers....I have bad eggs.
Our embryo's are beautifull up until day 3 but today, today was a completely different story. 7 of the embies became blasts - which is good? No, they became awful quality blasts, the rest stayed alive and grew a few cells more but the fragmentation was very clear, not good embies at all. In fact the 9 cell that would have been a day 3 choice was terrible today...
There was one "excellent" (according to dr V & the embryologist) blast another two that could "make a baby" (their words, not mine) but weren't top class. That's it folks - 3 out of the 13 that were alive were transfer quality. I didn't mind not freezing any because we what we want to achieve is a pregnancy with a take home baby, not have embies in the freezer but we had to make a choice. Dr V was not happy transferring all 3, he said that considering my age and the fact that they were blasts, a triplet pregnancy could be on the cards, that means a high risk pregnancy.
Of-course my initial reaction was that I wanted all three transferred, Frank and Dr V disagreed - they won. We transferred the best two and the other was not freezing quality. I'm still wondering if we made the right decision, what happens if that one was "the one"? I know you girls get this, i'm feeling so uncertain.
Transfer went well, loads and loads of tears. Dr V says that should a pregnancy be achieved then the OHSS will flare up again but I can deal with that, I just want this to work. Acu afterwards helped me relax and now up off to the couch with little Abi.
Test is on 13.08.08.....
That's what life has felt like for Frank and I over the past few weeks, things have gone so well and this may sound really "half-glass empty" but we've kinda been waiting for the other shoe to drop, well this morning, it came hurtling down!
Now please, please, please don't get me wrong. I am gratefull that we've made it this far, I know that many of you don't ever get this far let alone with your own eggs but bear with me here, some of what I am feeling is hormone related....
Yesterday's fert report said 13 embies, 7 looking good...today, however was a different story. Dr V started off saying that he had a conversation at a conference once, it was about perfect day 3 embryo's being transferred but no pregnancy being achieved - the outcome was - grow the same embryo's to day 5 and see what happens. Now we know why no pregnancy was achieved with any of my other transfers....I have bad eggs.
Our embryo's are beautifull up until day 3 but today, today was a completely different story. 7 of the embies became blasts - which is good? No, they became awful quality blasts, the rest stayed alive and grew a few cells more but the fragmentation was very clear, not good embies at all. In fact the 9 cell that would have been a day 3 choice was terrible today...
There was one "excellent" (according to dr V & the embryologist) blast another two that could "make a baby" (their words, not mine) but weren't top class. That's it folks - 3 out of the 13 that were alive were transfer quality. I didn't mind not freezing any because we what we want to achieve is a pregnancy with a take home baby, not have embies in the freezer but we had to make a choice. Dr V was not happy transferring all 3, he said that considering my age and the fact that they were blasts, a triplet pregnancy could be on the cards, that means a high risk pregnancy.
Of-course my initial reaction was that I wanted all three transferred, Frank and Dr V disagreed - they won. We transferred the best two and the other was not freezing quality. I'm still wondering if we made the right decision, what happens if that one was "the one"? I know you girls get this, i'm feeling so uncertain.
Transfer went well, loads and loads of tears. Dr V says that should a pregnancy be achieved then the OHSS will flare up again but I can deal with that, I just want this to work. Acu afterwards helped me relax and now up off to the couch with little Abi.
Test is on 13.08.08.....
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Our rugby team...
According to Christina - we have a rugby team growing there! I couldn't be more pleased, today I was anxious - we've never gone beyond a three day before!!
This morning we have 7 that are looking wonderful and get this chickens - the other 6 are still growing too (no details on how many cells etc, we'll find that out in the morning)....so our little 13 are still going strong. Praise god!
On the OHSS front, I must say that I am feeling better today, not as sore but still bloated. Looks like the bedrest and lots of Abi-lovin' is paying off.
We have to be there tomorrow at 8....go my little ones, go!
This morning we have 7 that are looking wonderful and get this chickens - the other 6 are still growing too (no details on how many cells etc, we'll find that out in the morning)....so our little 13 are still going strong. Praise god!
On the OHSS front, I must say that I am feeling better today, not as sore but still bloated. Looks like the bedrest and lots of Abi-lovin' is paying off.
We have to be there tomorrow at 8....go my little ones, go!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Taking a chance...
We saw Dr V today, we went in to discuss our plans for our little embies.
The choice was - freeze half and grow the rest to 5 days. As of this morning (3 days past ER) there are 14 little ones still growing, to say that I am amazed is really and understatement of note! Of-course they are not all on par with eachother....here is the breakdown:
1 x 9 cell
7 x 8 cell
3 x 6 cell
2 x 5 cell
1 x 4 cell
So as you can see, there are a few that they don't think will make 5 days and trying to pick which ones out of the 8 to freeze today was just madness, we've decided to take a chance and grow them all. Dr V is optimistic, he says the he thinks that we'll be able to get between 5 - 8 blasts out of this but obviously he's not putting that on paper!!
If we do end up with 5 blasts on transfer day then we'll put two back and "vitrify" the rest - a fancy procedure they do to freeze 5 day blasts, so we're happy.
I have a mild case of OHSS, i'm very bloated and very sore...DR V has put me on bedrest with at least 4ltr of fluid a day - this is why I am so late to update you all but I needed a break from the couch!!
Abi came back home last night, we are very happy to have her back home and she is just as pleased to be here. She still has some diarrhea but is eating well, she's also lost quite a bit of weight and you can see that she hasn't been well but hopefully she'll be back to normal soon!
Will update tomorrow, thanks for all the prayers chickens!!
The choice was - freeze half and grow the rest to 5 days. As of this morning (3 days past ER) there are 14 little ones still growing, to say that I am amazed is really and understatement of note! Of-course they are not all on par with eachother....here is the breakdown:
1 x 9 cell
7 x 8 cell
3 x 6 cell
2 x 5 cell
1 x 4 cell
So as you can see, there are a few that they don't think will make 5 days and trying to pick which ones out of the 8 to freeze today was just madness, we've decided to take a chance and grow them all. Dr V is optimistic, he says the he thinks that we'll be able to get between 5 - 8 blasts out of this but obviously he's not putting that on paper!!
If we do end up with 5 blasts on transfer day then we'll put two back and "vitrify" the rest - a fancy procedure they do to freeze 5 day blasts, so we're happy.
I have a mild case of OHSS, i'm very bloated and very sore...DR V has put me on bedrest with at least 4ltr of fluid a day - this is why I am so late to update you all but I needed a break from the couch!!
Abi came back home last night, we are very happy to have her back home and she is just as pleased to be here. She still has some diarrhea but is eating well, she's also lost quite a bit of weight and you can see that she hasn't been well but hopefully she'll be back to normal soon!
Will update tomorrow, thanks for all the prayers chickens!!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Never in my life...
....did I imagine that this could happen, I am beside myself with joy!!
Out of 15 - we have 13 normal fertalisations, the other 2 have fertalised but aren't looking as good as the rest. According to Heather, they can catch up overnight and if they do then we'll have a 100% fert rate.
This is better than we could ever hope for, last time we had 16 eggs and from the very first day we were only left with 8 that had fertalised so today we were hoping for at least 10 - a nice shock!
I know it's early days but this feels good, all of a sudden I am filled with HOPE!
Out of 15 - we have 13 normal fertalisations, the other 2 have fertalised but aren't looking as good as the rest. According to Heather, they can catch up overnight and if they do then we'll have a 100% fert rate.
This is better than we could ever hope for, last time we had 16 eggs and from the very first day we were only left with 8 that had fertalised so today we were hoping for at least 10 - a nice shock!
I know it's early days but this feels good, all of a sudden I am filled with HOPE!
15 Eggs...
My retrieval was yesterday. This last week hasn't been easy what with little Abi, my IVF sort of took a back seat but yesterday morning as I was getting ready to go to Vitalab it hit me, all of a sudden things felt very real and I was quite scared.
It all went off without a hitch, I had to wait for two ladies who's blasts were hatching to have their transfer before me but I went in about 8:45. Dr V is lovely, I cannot thank that man enough for being so kind and caring, before I knew it I was fast asleep and waking up in the ward with hardly any pain at all.
Even my bladder co-operated for a change, I dozed on and off until just after 10, had a cup of tea and a pee and we were on our merry way. Dr V was very happy, we got 15 eggs and the sperm was perfect, I phone at 10 this morning for our first fert report.
After my ER we went to see little Abi who is still being kept by the vet, she's looking better but still not eating, I cried so when I held her. They say that she is looking a bit better this morning and hopefully she'll eat soon because as soon as she's eating again she can come home. Our house feels so empty without her and we both miss her soooo much!
My pain started about 4 yesterday, they said that I can take stil.pain (as many as I need) but I'm trying to cope without them (that is not going so well). I'm very bloated and moving around too much hurts but it was the same last time, the only difference is that I am back at work today....aaargh!
Will update with a fert report later...thanks once again for all your love and prayers!!
It all went off without a hitch, I had to wait for two ladies who's blasts were hatching to have their transfer before me but I went in about 8:45. Dr V is lovely, I cannot thank that man enough for being so kind and caring, before I knew it I was fast asleep and waking up in the ward with hardly any pain at all.
Even my bladder co-operated for a change, I dozed on and off until just after 10, had a cup of tea and a pee and we were on our merry way. Dr V was very happy, we got 15 eggs and the sperm was perfect, I phone at 10 this morning for our first fert report.
After my ER we went to see little Abi who is still being kept by the vet, she's looking better but still not eating, I cried so when I held her. They say that she is looking a bit better this morning and hopefully she'll eat soon because as soon as she's eating again she can come home. Our house feels so empty without her and we both miss her soooo much!
My pain started about 4 yesterday, they said that I can take stil.pain (as many as I need) but I'm trying to cope without them (that is not going so well). I'm very bloated and moving around too much hurts but it was the same last time, the only difference is that I am back at work today....aaargh!
Will update with a fert report later...thanks once again for all your love and prayers!!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Trigger tonight...
Well girls, my scan today went well. Follies are looking happy and E2 is obviously pleasing to Dr V (didn't ask - trying not to obsess) so I trigger tonight at 8! Lining was nice and thick at 12mm, I don't think it's ever been that good!
ER will be Sunday and transfer should be Friday if all goes according to plan.
Had a very long night, Little Abi started vomiting again yesterday and the diarrhea is back, there's a lot of blood too. She refuses to eat still so has now not eaten for two days. I had her at the vet at 2am this morning so needless to say we haven't had much sleep! They've kept her and put her on a drip. I'm very sad and the house is so quiet without her but I know that it's probably the best thing for her as the other treatment didn't seem to be working.
My heart is aching for her and I just want her home and better. It's been a very trying week but we're hoping that it has a good ending.
Will update on Sunday, please keep up the prayers for us and little Abs...
ER will be Sunday and transfer should be Friday if all goes according to plan.
Had a very long night, Little Abi started vomiting again yesterday and the diarrhea is back, there's a lot of blood too. She refuses to eat still so has now not eaten for two days. I had her at the vet at 2am this morning so needless to say we haven't had much sleep! They've kept her and put her on a drip. I'm very sad and the house is so quiet without her but I know that it's probably the best thing for her as the other treatment didn't seem to be working.
My heart is aching for her and I just want her home and better. It's been a very trying week but we're hoping that it has a good ending.
Will update on Sunday, please keep up the prayers for us and little Abs...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Day 9 stims...
My Day 9 scan didn't turn out as I thought it would, the way my ovaries feel I thought I would trigger tonight or tomorrow night but apparently that is not what they have in store for me.
Things are looking good with a count of 16 follies - about 8 on each ovary now (give or take as I have no idea how they make anything out!). My lining is 11.4mm which is good and I don't think that it'll get much thicker before trigger (last time it was 10.7mm at my last scan before trigger so I'm really happy with 11.4mm!). My right ovary has some 18mm and close to that and the left ovary is a bit behind with 15mm - 16mm follies, so the plan - so as not to lose out on the left hand follies is to stim for another 3 days (today, Thursday and Friday).
My next scan is Friday and then they'll probably cut my stims down for that day and then Saturday should be Trigger and ER on Monday - that's Dr V's plan but you know how these things go, it all depends on Friday's scan and my E2 results which were only 4287 today which sounds a bit low for all those follies but they say it's fine. I was a bit dissapointed because things are getting rather uncomfortable now but Dr V says that he prefers that I stim longer and slower - hopefully this way we'll get some good quality eggs!
I cried all the way to VL and all the way back, Frank wasn't with me as he had to stay with Abi. Abi is terribly sick at the moment, she has a bad gastric infection so she's vomiting and her tummy is running non-stop. We had her at the vet last night and they gave her 3 injections and then this morning again for another 2. I have to take her back again tonight for more and if she's still sick tomorrow then she'll have to have a drip. She's not eating and has a horrible fever so they worried about dehydration. My poor poor baby, I'm crying more about her than anything else but it doesn't help that my hormones are all over the place.
So, now I suppose we just wait and see....
Things are looking good with a count of 16 follies - about 8 on each ovary now (give or take as I have no idea how they make anything out!). My lining is 11.4mm which is good and I don't think that it'll get much thicker before trigger (last time it was 10.7mm at my last scan before trigger so I'm really happy with 11.4mm!). My right ovary has some 18mm and close to that and the left ovary is a bit behind with 15mm - 16mm follies, so the plan - so as not to lose out on the left hand follies is to stim for another 3 days (today, Thursday and Friday).
My next scan is Friday and then they'll probably cut my stims down for that day and then Saturday should be Trigger and ER on Monday - that's Dr V's plan but you know how these things go, it all depends on Friday's scan and my E2 results which were only 4287 today which sounds a bit low for all those follies but they say it's fine. I was a bit dissapointed because things are getting rather uncomfortable now but Dr V says that he prefers that I stim longer and slower - hopefully this way we'll get some good quality eggs!
I cried all the way to VL and all the way back, Frank wasn't with me as he had to stay with Abi. Abi is terribly sick at the moment, she has a bad gastric infection so she's vomiting and her tummy is running non-stop. We had her at the vet last night and they gave her 3 injections and then this morning again for another 2. I have to take her back again tonight for more and if she's still sick tomorrow then she'll have to have a drip. She's not eating and has a horrible fever so they worried about dehydration. My poor poor baby, I'm crying more about her than anything else but it doesn't help that my hormones are all over the place.
So, now I suppose we just wait and see....
Monday, July 21, 2008
Follie count...
Day 7 of stims revealed 12 follies ranging from 10mm to 14mm with a lining of 9.4mm.
The plan is another set of injections today and tomorrow and a scan on day 9, last time we did this, day 9 was my last stim day so we'll see what happens, I'm thinking trigger on Thursday or Friday this week and Retrieval on Saturday or Sunday. Things are moving really quickly now chickens!!
I'm grumpy, tired, bloated and quite sore - but this is par for the course for me by now. The headaches seem to have gottten better with the addition of the cetrotide yesterday. My goodness, the cetrotide is not a pleasant injection at all, the area stays red and nasty looking for about 2 hrs after the shot and leaves a horrible bruise. I have bruises everywhere on my tum now and it's not much fun at all. Don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining - this is not my favourite part of IVF but I'm glad that we have some follies on the go!
My E2 level was around 2000 yesterday, Heather said that it should double daily as we go (give or take), she said that they measure it to be around 700 per egg so we'll see what it's like on wednesday I suppose.
So far so good. It's finally starting to feel real, I'm still feeling really calm for now, Abi is a wonderful distraction and it's also easier once you know what to expect, that doesn't make me any less scared for Retrieval tho!!!
The plan is another set of injections today and tomorrow and a scan on day 9, last time we did this, day 9 was my last stim day so we'll see what happens, I'm thinking trigger on Thursday or Friday this week and Retrieval on Saturday or Sunday. Things are moving really quickly now chickens!!
I'm grumpy, tired, bloated and quite sore - but this is par for the course for me by now. The headaches seem to have gottten better with the addition of the cetrotide yesterday. My goodness, the cetrotide is not a pleasant injection at all, the area stays red and nasty looking for about 2 hrs after the shot and leaves a horrible bruise. I have bruises everywhere on my tum now and it's not much fun at all. Don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining - this is not my favourite part of IVF but I'm glad that we have some follies on the go!
My E2 level was around 2000 yesterday, Heather said that it should double daily as we go (give or take), she said that they measure it to be around 700 per egg so we'll see what it's like on wednesday I suppose.
So far so good. It's finally starting to feel real, I'm still feeling really calm for now, Abi is a wonderful distraction and it's also easier once you know what to expect, that doesn't make me any less scared for Retrieval tho!!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
My update...
It's day 4 of stims and I went for accupuncture today, Dr Debbie said to keep on drinking lots of water to keep the headaches away but they don't seem to want to budge, she said that the area around the needle looks good and goes nice and red quickly which is good. She also says that it doesn't look like i'm that acidic anymore which is good too.
I need to go back the day before ER and then the day before transfer and straight after transfer. I do hope that this works, really I do...I'm starting to feel like a chicken without a head with all this running around.
On the stress front, I'm not feeling too bad at all actually. Little Abi is good at making the days go fast and keeping my mind off things. I think that we gonna have a few follies on Sunday as my ovaries are already starting to feel a bit strange, not sore but definately making their presence known!
I got some wonderful news today, you know who you are my friend and I love you guys with all my heart, I am so so happy for you!!
Carrie asked for updated pics of Abi, so here you go, how cute is her pink harness??:
I need to go back the day before ER and then the day before transfer and straight after transfer. I do hope that this works, really I do...I'm starting to feel like a chicken without a head with all this running around.
On the stress front, I'm not feeling too bad at all actually. Little Abi is good at making the days go fast and keeping my mind off things. I think that we gonna have a few follies on Sunday as my ovaries are already starting to feel a bit strange, not sore but definately making their presence known!
I got some wonderful news today, you know who you are my friend and I love you guys with all my heart, I am so so happy for you!!
Carrie asked for updated pics of Abi, so here you go, how cute is her pink harness??:
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I heart the Gon.al F Pen!!
I'm so chuffed with myself, now I know that many of you can do this with your eyes closed but Frank has always given me my injections, but today I decided it was time to start doing them myself while Frank watched in amazement and said "geez, I didn't think you'd be able to do that yourself!" because you see, I'm a bit of a "wussy" =)
It wasn't bad at all, I love the pen - no mess, no fuss and the needle is a bit thiner and shorter too!! Thanks Jenna, I love you my sweet friend!!
From Friday I have to start using the mix it yourself kind, not looking forward to that, the mornings take me forever as it is what with mine and Franks to do and a little Abi who wants constant attention!
Who wouldn't want to use this:
Instead of this?
It wasn't bad at all, I love the pen - no mess, no fuss and the needle is a bit thiner and shorter too!! Thanks Jenna, I love you my sweet friend!!
From Friday I have to start using the mix it yourself kind, not looking forward to that, the mornings take me forever as it is what with mine and Franks to do and a little Abi who wants constant attention!
Who wouldn't want to use this:
Instead of this?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Finally....
Whew...this has been quite a build up and I must say it's a relief to finally be doing this IVF!!
I went to Vita.lab for a scan this morning, i'm still bleeding quite a bit which Dr V doesn't understand as the pill is supposed to keep your lining thin, my lining was 3mm and there was still blood "in the cavity" as Dr V explained to the nurse but otherwise everything is quiet on the ovary front.
He's just come back from a conference in Spain and must have learnt something different because this morning he looked through my file and decided to "tweak" my protocol a bit, here'
s the plan:
Day 1 & 2 of stim ~ 225iu Gonal F
Day 3, 4, 5 of stim ~ 225iu Gonal F and 37.5iu Luveris
Day 6, 7, 8 & 9 of stim ~ Scan, 225iu Gonal F, 37.5iu Luveris & cetrotide
Day 10 ~ Possible trigger!!!!
Day 12 ~ Possible egg retrieval!!!!
There's some Anti-biotics somewhere inbetween for both Frank and I and of-course Frank is still on his injections so mixing them in the morning is gonna take me forever!
It's different but I think Dr V's onto something here, we're starting to feel a bit more positive, it doesn't really feel real yet. I had a bit of a cry on the way there this morning, feeling a bit overwhelmed I think but it's all good. We're ready so bring it on!!!
I know that I don't need to ask, but please keep us in your thoughts and prayers ~ we going to need all the help we can get here, please please please let this be it.
I went to Vita.lab for a scan this morning, i'm still bleeding quite a bit which Dr V doesn't understand as the pill is supposed to keep your lining thin, my lining was 3mm and there was still blood "in the cavity" as Dr V explained to the nurse but otherwise everything is quiet on the ovary front.
He's just come back from a conference in Spain and must have learnt something different because this morning he looked through my file and decided to "tweak" my protocol a bit, here'
s the plan:
Day 1 & 2 of stim ~ 225iu Gonal F
Day 3, 4, 5 of stim ~ 225iu Gonal F and 37.5iu Luveris
Day 6, 7, 8 & 9 of stim ~ Scan, 225iu Gonal F, 37.5iu Luveris & cetrotide
Day 10 ~ Possible trigger!!!!
Day 12 ~ Possible egg retrieval!!!!
There's some Anti-biotics somewhere inbetween for both Frank and I and of-course Frank is still on his injections so mixing them in the morning is gonna take me forever!
It's different but I think Dr V's onto something here, we're starting to feel a bit more positive, it doesn't really feel real yet. I had a bit of a cry on the way there this morning, feeling a bit overwhelmed I think but it's all good. We're ready so bring it on!!!
I know that I don't need to ask, but please keep us in your thoughts and prayers ~ we going to need all the help we can get here, please please please let this be it.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Okay, I'm ready already!!!
So here I am, twiddling my thumbs a bit impatiently because guess what....
Today was supposed to be day 1 of stims, yes...
No.
Bloody AF (excuse the pun) decided to pitch up at 8 last night, despite threatening all day! Once she did arive she decided to give me a run for my money with the worst cramps I have had in a very long time, I couldn't get off the couch!! So Heather (my IVF co-ordinator) says that today is day 1 so I start shooting up tomorrow!!
I'm feeling more positive about this up-coming IVF as we get closer, I'm feeling awful physically with headaches everyday since I stopped BCP and terrible cramps but i'm sure I'll feel better soon. The lack of sleep with little Abi wanting to play at 3 in the morning is probably a contributing factor too....
Here's the latest pic of Abi, she's growing so much and changing everyday, still the cutest little thing ever!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Here we go again....
Well folks, the results are in:
57 million per ml compared to 22million per ml
4% Morphology - up from 3% - they say that 4% is good and that morphology rarely gets any better than that?
35% Motility - only up 5% but we gonna try some Vit C and they also adding some medium to the spec jar next time which should help the boys swim better!
So all in all, we're happy. It's been an emotional morning, I'm relieved and scared at the same time, scared because now it's so real!
I took my last pill yesterday, now we wait for a breakthrough bleed and start stimms on day 2 which will most probably be Monday. So that means retrieval will be in about 2 weeks. Oh my word!!
Let's hope that this is the last one and that the lucky gonal f from sweet Bumble does the trick.
Buckle up because this time it's for real, here we go again!!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
We're back....
We're back home with Abi, she is the most adorable little thing I have ever seen. She's a fiesty little thing too but so so lovable at the same time. She loves being held and comes and climbs on me when she's tired, it's the sweetest thing!! She has brought so much joy to our lives and we're constantly laughing at the silly things she does, just too precious for words!!
Still teenee, tiny!! Smaller than we thought she'd be!
In other news, it's a week until Frank's SA. We ready but scared at the same time, it's been hard - Frank has been feeling really down lately - I think it's from the Meno.pur but hopefully he only has about 10 more shots to go!! Roll on IVF, we're ready for ya!!
It's been tiring, she's still really small but we're gettting there. She's already been to the vet with a runny nose and tummy, her food is making her tummy run and she has a bit of a cold - from the temp change between her and KZN I suppose!!
Here's some latest pics...
Still teenee, tiny!! Smaller than we thought she'd be!In other news, it's a week until Frank's SA. We ready but scared at the same time, it's been hard - Frank has been feeling really down lately - I think it's from the Meno.pur but hopefully he only has about 10 more shots to go!! Roll on IVF, we're ready for ya!!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Abi @ 6 weeks!!
Here's the latest pic of little Abi, she is just so adorable!!
I can't wait to fetch her tomorrow and give her loads of love!!
I can't wait to fetch her tomorrow and give her loads of love!!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Introducing Little Abigail...
Things didn't work out as planned - for a change they actually worked out better!!
Isn't she just too precious for words!!
Abi was supposed to come from the litter that was born yesterday but unfortunately there were only 4 pups born with only one of them being a little girl. She was apparently very small and the vet wasn't sure that she was going to make it. The breeder that we are getting Abigail from had another litter 5 weeks ago and she's managed to book one of her little ones for us!!
So, we've decided to take a weeks leave (since we need to fetch her in Westville, KZN) and spend the week in Ballito with her!! It will give us time to "bond" and spend some time with her, it will also give us a much needed break....we're both very excited!!!
Isn't she just too precious for words!!Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Getting there...
We are 3 Meno.pur down, 11 more to go until Frank's repeat SA and so far so good!
I am happy to report that there haven't been any nasty side effects, it's wierd having your husband on hormones! He is a bit more outspoken and easily annoyed but nothing I can't handle....
It's been a wierd transition, it's taken some time to come to terms with not doing IVF straight away, I find myself thinking about how far i'd be on my stimms and the fact that I would be having my ER this week already but that I think it's very normal to feel a bit cheated. It's hard trying to prepare yourself for something only for it not to happen...
I've been keeping to myself a lot lately, trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings, trying to start the healing process. My friendships have unfortunately taken a back seat and I'm not quite sure that everyone understands exactly what it is that is happening, I know that some wont understand and that some will, I do worry about the frienships that can't be fixed, the ones that wont survive me finding myself again.
I know i'm cutting myself off, I haven't spoken to my family in the last 2 weeks - I've told them that I need time to deal with everything, time to deal with this cross that is mine to bare....they don't understand either, I think they think that I'm being selfish by not helping them deal with their issues because this is something that I have never done. I've always been there and while it was for them, it was just so bad for me. I'm taking a time out people, I'm taking time to concentrate on Frank and I, on our hopes and dreams and those that want to understand and be patient are very welcome to come along for the ride.
I have lots to look forward to, my little Abigail will be born any day now! Abigail will be our first pet - a little english bull.dog. I will get her the week before my 30th birthday, I can't tell you how excited we are!!! We've been waiting for her for a while now, we found a breeder about a month ago who told us that they were expecting a litter and so we have been waiting, i'll get her when she's about six weeks old....
Frank's SA will be done at the end of the 5th week of his treatment, so for now i'll stay on BCP. When this pack is finished I'll start taking the active pills on the next pack and skip the withdrawel bleed so that I can stop them at any time. If the SA results come back better then I'll stop BCP and start stimms. Frank will stay on the Meno.pur until my ER - if all works out then I should have my transfer the week before my 30th birthday too, so at least I'll have little Abi to keep me company during my 2ww, that should help keep me calm!!
So all in all, we're getting there.....slowly but surely....
I am happy to report that there haven't been any nasty side effects, it's wierd having your husband on hormones! He is a bit more outspoken and easily annoyed but nothing I can't handle....
It's been a wierd transition, it's taken some time to come to terms with not doing IVF straight away, I find myself thinking about how far i'd be on my stimms and the fact that I would be having my ER this week already but that I think it's very normal to feel a bit cheated. It's hard trying to prepare yourself for something only for it not to happen...
I've been keeping to myself a lot lately, trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings, trying to start the healing process. My friendships have unfortunately taken a back seat and I'm not quite sure that everyone understands exactly what it is that is happening, I know that some wont understand and that some will, I do worry about the frienships that can't be fixed, the ones that wont survive me finding myself again.
I know i'm cutting myself off, I haven't spoken to my family in the last 2 weeks - I've told them that I need time to deal with everything, time to deal with this cross that is mine to bare....they don't understand either, I think they think that I'm being selfish by not helping them deal with their issues because this is something that I have never done. I've always been there and while it was for them, it was just so bad for me. I'm taking a time out people, I'm taking time to concentrate on Frank and I, on our hopes and dreams and those that want to understand and be patient are very welcome to come along for the ride.
I have lots to look forward to, my little Abigail will be born any day now! Abigail will be our first pet - a little english bull.dog. I will get her the week before my 30th birthday, I can't tell you how excited we are!!! We've been waiting for her for a while now, we found a breeder about a month ago who told us that they were expecting a litter and so we have been waiting, i'll get her when she's about six weeks old....
Frank's SA will be done at the end of the 5th week of his treatment, so for now i'll stay on BCP. When this pack is finished I'll start taking the active pills on the next pack and skip the withdrawel bleed so that I can stop them at any time. If the SA results come back better then I'll stop BCP and start stimms. Frank will stay on the Meno.pur until my ER - if all works out then I should have my transfer the week before my 30th birthday too, so at least I'll have little Abi to keep me company during my 2ww, that should help keep me calm!!
So all in all, we're getting there.....slowly but surely....
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Another bump in the road....
Okay, so now we have a real reason for waiting - not just that gut feel!
Dr V phoned me yesterday after I'd sent him a mail to tell him that we had decided to wait. He says that Frank's FSH is way too low. So, get this....they putting him on menopur injections!!!
He starts tomorrow, 75iu every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for 6 weeks, this means another 2 rounds of BCP for me instead of just one but what can you do? Apparently the menopur should make his FSH higher and therefore improve his count, morphology and hopefully quality of the sperm.
I'll schedule my BCP to end on the same day that he finishes the menopur and then we'll start stimms straight away. They'll probably do another SA at the end of it too, just to make sure that the treatment has worked, maybe another FSH test too.
Dr V said that he looked back on Frank's bloods that he had for our IVF and his FSH was low then already so something should have been done before we did our IVF, so I must say that I am a bit pissed that someone missed this but it's water under the bridge now. Now we have a possible reason for our embies not taking as sperm quality definately has an impact on whether an embryo makes it to a baby or not.
Initially Frank was okay with the treatment, until he read up on all the side effects menopur can have on men, one of the side effects is breast enlargement, he has said that should this happen, he's stopping treatment - I do understand but geez, men can be difficult! I'll mail Dr V again and just raise Frank's concerns but I do think that it's really rare and that it could happen if you were on it for too long and maybe higher dosages. I do hope that the side effects are minimal tho....it could be a really long six weeks!!
It's costing us quite a bit, almost half of what my stimms would cost if I was doing IVF now, so really not a nice surprise at all but hopefully this is what we need to do the trick....we're a bit tired of all these bumps in the road but what can you do. You live.....and learn.
Dr V phoned me yesterday after I'd sent him a mail to tell him that we had decided to wait. He says that Frank's FSH is way too low. So, get this....they putting him on menopur injections!!!
He starts tomorrow, 75iu every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for 6 weeks, this means another 2 rounds of BCP for me instead of just one but what can you do? Apparently the menopur should make his FSH higher and therefore improve his count, morphology and hopefully quality of the sperm.
I'll schedule my BCP to end on the same day that he finishes the menopur and then we'll start stimms straight away. They'll probably do another SA at the end of it too, just to make sure that the treatment has worked, maybe another FSH test too.
Dr V said that he looked back on Frank's bloods that he had for our IVF and his FSH was low then already so something should have been done before we did our IVF, so I must say that I am a bit pissed that someone missed this but it's water under the bridge now. Now we have a possible reason for our embies not taking as sperm quality definately has an impact on whether an embryo makes it to a baby or not.
Initially Frank was okay with the treatment, until he read up on all the side effects menopur can have on men, one of the side effects is breast enlargement, he has said that should this happen, he's stopping treatment - I do understand but geez, men can be difficult! I'll mail Dr V again and just raise Frank's concerns but I do think that it's really rare and that it could happen if you were on it for too long and maybe higher dosages. I do hope that the side effects are minimal tho....it could be a really long six weeks!!
It's costing us quite a bit, almost half of what my stimms would cost if I was doing IVF now, so really not a nice surprise at all but hopefully this is what we need to do the trick....we're a bit tired of all these bumps in the road but what can you do. You live.....and learn.
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